If you haven’t seen my picture yet, I’m just like Britney Spears (if you have seen me, I don’t mean physically – but you don’t have to tell them that. Oh, and if you happen to have experienced my singing and dancing, you know that doesn’t apply either, but anyway…).
Every time I go grocery shopping, Britney is right there in front of me – losing custody of her children, partying, or getting in trouble with the law. Yesterday, word was that she’s sleeping around and might be pregnant again.
Wait a minute – that doesn’t sound like me either. Don’t get the wrong idea here.
I often wonder why she does all these things. She’s talented and fairly bright. She seemed to really want children, and she probably has the ability to be a good mother. She’s got plenty of money, as well as friends and family. She’s actually experiencing the consequences of some of her actions now – the aforementioned trouble with the law, and the loss of her children. So, why doesn’t she change?
I don’t know. Maybe because she’s still fairly young and her judgment is lacking. I know younger people who have terrific judgment, but there are always plenty who don’t, and it does often get better with age (hey, my judgment and decision-making has gotten better with age – there’s a similarity finally).
Maybe because she’s still surrounding herself with the wrong influences. People who have been through recovery know that it’s generally necessary to separate oneself from friends who are still abusing alcohol and drugs in order to avoid a relapse. That’s a difficult thing to do, though. And no, that’s not from personal experience either (hi, Mom!).
What I do see, though, is a mother who doesn’t want to give up her own life because she has children. She still wants to be able to see her friends and go out and do the things she’s used to doing, and the things that make her happy (or that she thinks make her happy).
I struggle with this at times, too. I love my kids, and definitely wouldn’t do anything to endanger them. Often, however, I just want to be able to do my thing, and I feel frustrated. I want to write, or play guitar (does Britney play?), or exercise, or just get a few things done without someone wanting something. Sometimes that does come out negatively – I might snap at the child who asks for a snack when I’m right in the middle of an article. Can’t they ask when the writing is totally blocked instead? It doesn’t work that way, though.
I think I get at least part of what Britney wants. I don’t know how I’d advise her, given the opportunity. She probably needs a total lifestyle change at this point, and she’s going to have to come to that point herself. If losing her kids isn’t rock-bottom enough, I’m not sure what will be. That could be scary. I do think she deserves our love (in the sense of loving your neighbor), sympathy, and prayers. I hope she can pull it together.